Special Alert From The Mainstream Media

If you are unfortunate or, well, stupid enough to live in the Northeast, snow and sleet is currently "wrecking havoc" in your community.

If you go outside, you're risking your life. This is a "killer snowstorm" that has left scores dead in the Midwest.

You are being "pounded" with it.

Don't even think about stepping away from your television to see what it's like to stand on your front lawn and listen to snowflakes hit the ground in the silence of the evening.

That would be crazy. You risk slipping on your steps and breaking a few ribs.

Then, your insurance company would screw you.

Don't drive your car. You will surely die in a car accident or be stranded when your car slides into a snowbank and die there.

Gather candles, blankets and food.

Stay inside. Watch TV.

Keep watching for more alerts.

Breakout Trading

All you need to know about trading breakouts from the Option Addict.

Animal Collective, "Banshee Beat"

Tailspin

I don't even want to get into it. I'm shot.

Here's the stats:

P&L, -$619
Best, CNS, $235
Worst, BEN, -$380

28,400 shares traded.
13 stocks traded. 5 winners, 8 losers.

Virtual Office, $2757, Dow, +44.06, 13,517.96.

Evolution, $2807 on 97,200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $933 on 2654 shares traded.
OBAT, $120 on 12,000 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $26 on 2 contracts traded.
Misstrade, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.
Sanglucci, -$102 on 24,800 shares traded.
Denarii, -$408 on 3000 shares traded.
Me, -$619 on 28,400 shares traded.

Goddamn! CNBC teased that baseball steroids report all day long. At one point, they went so far to stop a legitimate interview in order to let everyone know that Roger Clemens was on steroids.

Then, when ex-Senator Mitchell came on, I felt as if I had been drugged. What slow state is that dude from? Note to Senator Mitchell: humans can process more than 20 spoken words a minute.

We traded about 1.4 billion shares on the NYSE today. Oh, and I fucking hate robots.

Due to a communication problem I'm having with the "retards" (go figure) I may not be posting their number (numbers?) until tomorrow. I think we need to be patient with them...

The Baseball Steroids Report

This guy, George Mitchell, what is he the baseball commissioner? He's the most boring public speaker I have ever heard. I literally fell asleep while he was talking.

UPDATE: He's not the commissioner... he's an ex-Senator. A really dull ex-Senator.

"Retard" To Join The VO

Back in elementary school, being labeled a "retard" was about the worst thing possible. There was one thing worse, being labeled a "gay."

Anyway, imagine purposefully labelling yourself a "retard" and then revelling in this image by creating a whole "retard world" that you reigned over.

I find it all a little disturbing... not to mention politically incorrect.

I mean, I guess if you label yourself a "retard trader" that you're setting your expectations low as far as your trading abilities go. You figure, well, if I do poorly everyone will understand why... if I do well, I win!

I guess it's a way to take the pressure off.

However you open yourself up to different pressures, like being attacked by an army of "retards" and their killing robots.

With that, I reluctantly welcome the Retard Trader to our humble Virtual Office. I'll say this, they have the best looking site in the VO despite their impaired mental faculties.

The White Stripes, "Black Math"

Dedicated to the wizards who orchestrated the subprime mess. Happy holidays!

Special Message To The Mods At Elitetrader

I've been graced with another link from your site.

You know, once before, I was linked and so I joined your site and just wrote a brief intro (in the same thread where I was linked) about my VO.

In return, my post was removed and I received a sarcasm laden message from your moderator who goes by the name "Magma" or something like that.... as in, "spew me with your hot magma." Perhaps it was "Magnum"... as in the condom brand.

Anyway, you guys are idiots. Quickly remove the link to my site before your readership finds another site worth reading.